The Squeeze

It’s that time of the year when I take a deep breath and get squeezed. I have yet to meet a friend who looked forward to their annual mammogram and sonogram tests. I remember one comedian describe it as “putting your breast, one at a time, on the inside of an opened refrigerator and slamming the door shut”--- ouch!

I was an hour early for my appointment. I would be a liar if I did not admit to a tinge of nervousness when I would start imagining scary “what if” scenarios. But a tiny voice would whisper back, “so be it”. I then would return to my crossword puzzle or the cooking demos being televised on an overhead screen. Then again, a glance at some of the serious faces of the ladies waiting their turn would send a rush of insecurities. “What if” sneaks in my thoughts and briefly I mirror the serious look of the women around me. And just as quickly, I hear someone whisper, “Lift it up”. Calmest envelopes me and I am engrossed once more as how the program host mixes peanut butter and jam in vanilla ice cream.

My name is called and quickly and efficiently the technician leads me to the testing room. The calmest I felt continued throughout the procedures. Unlike in the past, I did not shiver because of the cold temperature of the room. It also helped that the medical staff attending to me were gentle and cheerful. Before I know it, the tests were over and I was told to come back three days after for the results.

I hurriedly changed from the loose gown to my clothes and walked out of the hospital into the bright sunlight. No sneaky “what ifs” following me to my lunch date with former office colleagues.

(And by the way, it also helped that while inside the testing room, familiar church songs were discreetly being played in the background. What a lovely coincidence that the thoughts being whispered into my head had morphed into songs of praise and hope.)

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Lunch with dear friends are always a welcome treat-- especially if it had been awhile since our last meeting. I was told that so much has changed in the company I used to work for as well as in their personal lives. But such is life—always changing, never constant. We sometimes get into a tight squeeze but what is important, we all agreed, is we all come out of the experience with our spirit intact.
Below is a recipe that involves some squeezing. So let me be the voice that whispers in your ears: “This is going to be delicious”.

Binignit (Ginatang Halo-halo)

You will need- 2 grated coconuts out of which, you will need to squeeze:

½ c coconut cream (the 1st squeeze of a grated coconut: add ¼ c warm water, squeeze, and strain the resulting cream-- thick)
2 c coconut milk (the 2nd squeeze of a grated coconut: add 1 ½ c warm water, squeeze and strain the resulting milk-- thin)
12 inch pandan leaf, cut into two (optional)
4-firm bananas (saba or cardaba), sliced (to make 2 c)
2 med-size camote, peeled, cubed (to make 1 c)
Galapong (rice flour mixed with water and shaped into marble-size balls to make 1 c)
½ c shredded langka (jackfruit)
2 med-size gabi (taro) peeled and cubed (to make 1 c)
Ube, peeled and cubed (to make ½ c)
1 c cooked sago (tapioca balls)
1 c sugar (white or brown)



Place the coconut milk and the pandan leaf in a large pot over medium heat. Add the bananas. Add more water if needed to cover the bananas. Once this comes to a boil, lower heat and simmer for about 10 minutes. Add the following ingredients one by one with a 5 minute interval after each addition:
1. Camote
2. Ube
3. Gabi
4. Langka
5. galapong balls
6. sago
7. sugar (add this little by little and taste to check on sweetness level)
Check that all the root crops are tender but not mushy. Kill the heat and gently stir in the coconut cream.



Serve with confidence!

Notes:
I prefer to boil my galapong balls before adding to the mixture. This is similar to making palitao.
It is esthetically better if the banana and the root crops are cut to the same size.
Depending on your preference, you may add more or omit some of the ingredients. Just make sure to adjust the liquids accordingly.

Affirmation

I was visiting my mother last week in Cebu and I thought it would be fun to touch base again with some high school classmates. Seven of us had agreed to have lunch on a blistering hot day. Lately, it has become a pleasant habit to get-together with these dear friends. And the number of friends who do show up have increased. I credit celphones and Facebook for making this possible. One text or email message can spread like wildfire and before you know it, you’ve got a boisterous reunion on your hands.

At first, there were the usual topics—nothing of the personal nature. No reunion would be complete without the retelling of embarrassing high school experiences; the crushes; the wicked teachers; and, the fashion then. But with friends I practically spent my formative years with, the stories quickly evolved naturally to very personal experiences-- no inhibitions and voices sincerely speaking from the heart. The hurts, the heartaches; the triumphs and the joy. The peaks and valleys of our lives since we last graduated.

Anyone looking at our table would see seven matrons happily exchanging stories. I saw more. These were women who shared in the belief of the goodness of a God. These were women who each dealt with what life dished out and laughed. The laughter we shared was the affirmation of that belief. And laugh we did until late into the afternoon.



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High school soirees were never complete without STC: Spaghetti, Tasty(sliced bread) and Coke. With very limited allowances, this was the perfect party food combination that hit the spot. And with all that dancing, the carbohydrate loaded fare ensured that everyone had the energy to dance until curfew time.

Below is my mother’s more substantial version of this pasta dish. This dish has been a favorite in many happy gatherings.

Baked Chicken Macaroni = Successful Party

Boil 350-450grams of elbow or salad macaroni as directed by instructions on package. (about 3-4 cups of cooked macaroni) Set Aside.



In about 2 tablespoon of oil, saute the following:
3 cloves garlic, minced
2 medium size or 1 1/2 large onion, chopped
1 small can of pre-chopped mushrooms, drained
about 1/2 to 1 c chopped ham
2 cups shreded boiled chicken breast (500grams)
1-2 bay leaves (optional)

Add:
1 c tomato sauce
1 1/2 c chicken broth



Let simmer so flavours can blend. Cover and continue to simmer for about 15-25 minutes. Season with salt and pepper. Set aside.

Add the cooked macaroni to the meat mixture. Blend, season with salt and pepper and set aside.



Prepare the mushroom sauce topping by:
Sauting 2 minced cloves of garlic and 1 T of minced onion in a little oil.
Pour the contents of 1 can cream of mushroom soup plus 1/2 cup of milk. Season with a little salt and pepper. Use a whisk to smoothen out the sauce. Set aside.

Grate about 1 cup of cheese. Set aside.

To assemble:

In a pyrex dish, pour the macaroni mixture. Top with the mushroom sauce and spread the grated cheese on top.



Put in a hot oven (350 degrees) and bake until the top is a nice brown and bubbly.

Carefully remove from the oven and be ready to Par-tee : )

Home Reading Program

A constant item on my to-do list these days is to read at least two books a month. Some of you may not consider this a hard task to do. Many of you actually make it a regular habit-- lucky you! In my case, I have to make a conscious effort to take time out to "curl up" with a book. Because if I don't, there will always be some task-- clean and organize what’s left of the contents inside cabinets and drawers, do a beading project, draw up a weekly menu, visit with a friend, watch teevee, de-bug and de-snail the garden. I have more alibis than a harden criminal.

Growing up, the only source of reading materials in our house consisted of the Manila Bulletin Newspaper and the occasional Reader's Digest. As there were many of us (7 kids) in the house, my father assigned a day each where each of us had priority over these materials. Being the eldest, I was assigned Monday as my reading day. Every Monday I had first crack at the comic section (!). So much for a reading program at home.

Then in high school, I was fortunate to have a literature teacher, Ms. C Lana, who was responsible for opening up the wonders of the written word for my classmates and I. She did not care what we read but that we read-- a lot. The books of choice then among my friends were of the Mills and Boons variety. At 14 and with raging hormones, these romantic novelettes were most appealing. The classics were forced on us by way of the required book reports. But they too eventually gained my appreciation. Ms. Lana made poetry reading and role playing (heavy Shakespearean characters) interesting and fun as well.

Reading a book is not essential to survive. So why do it at all, you ask.

I have come to realize that being able to read a well-written book can be an enriching experience. Through these books, I have traveled many places without getting on a plane; and, savored fine cuisine with kings and scoundrels. I have eavesdrop on illicit affairs and learned a couple of "tricks" to liven things up in my own. I have solved mysteries and cried a river over the lost of innocence. New words and new ideas. Inspiration and hope. (Thank you Ms. Lana!)

Have you read anything good lately?



"Reading is a means of thinking with another person's mind; it forces you to stretch your own." quote book publisher Charles Scribner, Jr.

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Well, if you have not read anything good lately, why not try cooking up something delicious and out of the ordinary. I just cooked the following chowder for dinner two nights ago. If this recipe was classified like a book, I would mark it as an excellent classic in the non-fiction category.



Seafood Chowder ala Me ( a conglomeration of similar recipes)

4 strips bacon, sliced up
250 g creamy dory fillet, cubed
100 g baby squid, cleaned, skinned and cut up into rings
100 g baby shrimps, shelled
¼ c canned corn, cream style
1 small carrot, cubed
1 med potato, peeled and cubed
1 small onion, sliced
2 cloves garlic, sliced
1 c chicken stock
¼ c peas (optional)
1 c roux* (recipe below)
Salt and pepper to taste

Drop sliced bacon onto a hot pan. Stir until cook but not up to the crispy stage. Set aside. Saute the onions and garlic in the bacon fat. Add the shrimp and sauté until pink in color. Stir in the squid and cook for about 2 minutes. Add the fish and cook for about 2 minutes. Add the bacon, stock, corn and potatoes. Simmer until potatoes are almost done. Add the carrot and continue cooking until carrots are tender. Stir in the roux a little at a time until you get the right consistency you want—too much and you will need a knife to slice through your chowder. (If too thick, just add more milk) Heat through. Season and serve hot with some crusty bread on the side.



Roux (soup thickener)
2 T butter
2 T flour
1 c milk

Melt butter and quickly add the flour. Stir until a paste is formed. Beat in the milk. Watch the mixture thicken and like magic, you have a roux!

The SAGA of life

Life is long when it is full, and this fullness is not measured in terms of time, but by deeds. St Thomas


“Happy Birthday!’, was my text message to a friend who had just turned the big five O.

“Ouch”, was his response—an indication that he didn’t relish being reminded.

A typical reaction from someone who has crossed over the half century mark, I thought. I should know. Although my aging anxieties are less these days, I still continue to go through a whole gamut of emotions when I see myself in the mirror— Ay caramba! Who is that person with lots of curly salt & pepper hair? Are those hoods over the eyes? Uggghhh! What happened!?!?!

There seems to be some disconnect at times as I feel like I am in my mid-twenties (please lower those eyebrows people)— okay, thirties. What is one to do— besides banish all mirrors from the house?!!??

Well, as usual, I wrote up a list on how I am dealing with the "face in the mirror". But, I did not quite complete it. I am still groping for the answers as I continue to wrestle with my internal conflicts. And I am hoping that some of you might want to add your own thoughts on the matter. I would like to call this interactive blogging.

• Stress the positive— Aging has its advantages. For one, there are the senior citizen discounts to look forward to; and, senior citizen priority lanes. Two, no more youthful angst—it’s a relief not to be able to relate to Ally McBeal. Three, _____________

• Accept — There is no way anyone can turn back the hands of time. With acceptance comes serenity and the setting down of heavy “baggage” carried for so long. With acceptance you can now ____________________

• Gratitude — Be grateful for the opportunity to continue viewing all the wonders of nature, of witnessing our childrens triumphs, of marveling at how our life is unfolding yet for another day. Least we forget, give thanks for _________________________

• Aspire- with all that experience tucked in ones life-belt, aspire to be bolder, dare to _____________________

We are born, We grow. We mature. We lived. Such is the sage of life.

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What is a birthday without the ritual of blowing out ones candles on a cake? I take this action very seriously. Next time your birthday comes around, be sure you close your eyes, give thanks and make a wish that your life’s saga be filled with sun shiny days ahead.

Now here’s a recipe for a chocolate cake with caramel filling and a fudgy icing passed on to me by a very good friend and corporate colleague. If you do make it, you would wish it was your birthday everyday.



Maite’s Chocolate Monster Cake (as was given to me-- with some detailed explanation)

Cake:
1/2 c Butter

Sift together:
1 1/4 c Flour
1 t Baking Powder
1 t Baking Soda
1/2 t Salt

1 1/2 c Sugar
2 Eggs

1/2 c Cocoa mixed w/ 1 c Water

Cream butter with sugar alternately with eggs.



Start & end with sugar.

Fold in flour, baking powder, soda, salt alternately with cocoa mixture. Start and end with flour mixture.

Flour first: (divide into 3)



Cocoa mixture next: (divide into 2)



Pour the batter equally into two 8-inch round pans whose bottoms have been lined with wax paper. Bake at 325* for 25-30 mins. or until toothpick comes out clean when poked in the middle of cake.



Once cakes have cooled down, remove from pan. Split the cakes in half length-wise. Set aside.

Filling:
2 T Flour
1 can (1 1/2 c) Evap. Milk
1 Eggyolk
1/3 c Sugar
1 T Instant Coffee
2 T Butter
Mix first 5 ingredients and cook til of spreading consistency.



Then add butter and mix well. Divide the cream filling into three and spread on the cakes.



Icing:
1/2 c Cocoa 1/2 c
1 can ( 1 1/2 c) Evap Milk 1 can
1 c Sugar
2 T Butter
Mix first 3 ingredients and cook til of spreading consistency. Add butter.



Mix well. Spread quickly on cake as it will become stiff when the fudge cools down.

Strike a (Cat) Pose

I am on my 6th month of on-again-off-again yoga: gentle flow. And what have I learned thus far? Well, yoga looks to animals for inspiration for a variety of health beneficial poses. These poses, I am told, are meant to counteract the number one enemy of mankind: stress. Below is a short-list of animal poses certified to be stress-busters.

First on the list is downward facing dog. This is a constant in yoga sessions.



You will feel your stress melt away and if you stay down too long, you become light headed. So who needs wine?!?!

Still stressed out? Then move on to the Cobra post. A sure ticket to immediate relief of tension. (Specially if you are able to strike like a cobra at the one causing your stress)



And did you know that a lot of stress could be locked inside the hip area? The frog pose will get those hips stretched out for sure.



But who wants to be a frog, when the same benefits can be achieved by doing the butterfly pose.



Feeling shy? Then take on a fish pose. This pose is said to open the chest area but even more so it supposedly actively pushes the person to open up.



And if you stretch like a cat, you’ll gently massage your spine and belly.



To continue this massage to your spine, alternate the cat pose with a cow pose.



Cats and cows do know something good.

So give yoga a try and join me as I continue to learn about the birds and the bees. If done correctly, these animal poses stretch and heal tight muscles; expel toxins from our bodies; and, will provide us with another means of dealing with life’s twist and turns.

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I have been told that yoga is best practiced on an empty stomach— makes for easy bending and contracting of the belly. But this is not easy for me as I need some energy to get my engine going early in the morning. So my teacher advises that I have a light meal 1 hour prior to my yoga class. Fruits and cereals work well with me and the following energy drink (patterned after commercial smoothies) hits the spot:

Basic Banana-Oatmeal Smoothie

1 banana, cut up
¼ c oatmeal, any variety (quick cooking, rolled oats, etc)
2-3 T powdered low fat milk
1 c water
Ice cubes (optional)



Place all the ingredients into a blender and zap away.



You can add a variety of fruits to this basic recipe. A dash of cinnamon takes this drink to a different level.

Namaste!

My Dad & Dean Martin

Dear Daddy,

Remember Dean Martin? Well, I was randomly clicking out some old tunes on youtube and came across a film clip showing Dean Martin belting out “Everybody Loves Somebody Sometimes” and instantly, I thought of you.

Maybe it was the wavy black hair parted on the side and held in place by Yardley Brilliantine Pomade;



or, the lines that form on the side of the eyes when he smiled.



Then again, it could have been the way Dean Martin casually held his cigarette or glass of scotch.



And maybe it could have been the mischief in his eyes when he looked straight into the camera…



Growing up, I remember you singing a bar or two of some 50s tune. Most of the time making up the words when the lyrics escaped you. And when I think about it, many of the advices you gave were taken from lines of a song--- how cool is that!

I remember how quickly my tears disappeared with your rendition of “When you’re smiling” (.....the whole world smiles with you; but when you’re crying, you bring on the rain”). And when the mood hits you, you might humor me further with a little dance.

Well, I just thought I’d drop you a short line to let you know how very much you are fondly remembered. And by the way, happy Father’s Day.

XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOX

Remembering my dad brought back memories of my mom’s creamy leche flan and how she would always prepare it just the way he liked it—with lots of sugar. She liked to prepare it in a heart-shaped aluminum pan. Now "that's amore".




Leche Flan
You will need to caramelized 3-4 tablespoons of sugar in an 8-inch aluminum pan. Set this aside while you prepared the flan.

In a bowl, beat together 8 egg yolks, 1 cup of evaporated milk, 1 cup water and 12 heaping tablespoon sugar. Set aside.

Now place your pan with the caramelized sugar in a steamer or water bath. Carefully pour your flan mixture into the pan. Cover and steam for about 20 minutes or when after pricking the center of the flan, a toothpick comes out clean.



Let cool to set before transferring flan to the fridge to chill. Turn over the pan on a serving dish and be ready to bask in the affection of your love one.

The Blues

“Maybe I should have saved
Those leftover dreams
Funny but here's that rainy day”
Sammy Davis Jr.


I am blaming it on the weather. The oppressive humidity is surely putting a damper on my spirit. It’s difficult to be happy when I am all sweaty. The smallest things can set me off to the deeper end of depression. Ants on the kitchen counter; my favorite t-shirt still in the laundry basket; ice trays without ice…. Grrrrr. How do you deal with such negative vibes?

Some go shopping— an expensive cure;



some go back to bed— I did that already but it was almost noon;



some have cheese with their whine… I mean wine (this will make me hotter still);



Well, in my case, I decided to clean. Yup! Putting things in order seems to distract me from destructive thoughts.

First stop, my closet.



An eye-opener! I did not realize I had stuff I haven’t worn in three years. I remember reading somewhere that if you haven’t worn it for one year, then it’s definitely not a keeper.

There was so much to give away—high waist denim pants, corporate sports jackets, very corporate looking blouses, bags, shoes, and belts.



Just paring down my closet sure took a load of my mind.



I felt lighter and cooler.

Next on the attack list were my little trinket boxes: earrings, pins and the like.



Again, many of which I have not put on for a long while. I could not part with them—just yet.



I had a smile on my face as I remember how sassy I felt when I wore them. At last there is order in the boxes and this set my mood still a notch higher.

I was on a roll now. Opening up and cleaning out more drawers was like letting the sunshine through. Into the thrush heap went the orange lipstick; the expired mascara; and the too sweet smelling lotion. It was so liberating to see my drawers freed of these dust gatherers.

So why was I blue about again? I can’t remember. All I know is I have so much to be grateful for that it’s ridiculous to be blue. And that lunch was on the table and I had worked up a huge appetite.

★ ☆ ☺ ☻ ★ ☆ ☺ ☻ ★ ☆ ☺ ☻ ★ ☆ ☺ ☻ ★ ☆ ☺ ☻

Did I mention that before I started on my closet, I went through my pantry? I was searching for a fix of the sweet kind. I needed to get the skip back in my stride again. Alas, no chocolate bars or caramel candies. No cream cookies or even a stick of gum. But there was a can of fruit cocktail, a box of cream, a bottle of green kaong and another bottle of red nata de coco. All left overs from Christmas. What could be better than chilled fruit salad for dessert after lunch to remember Christmas on a humid day in June!



You will need:
1 can fruit cocktail ( or about 3 cups of chopped fresh fruits: apples, pears, pineapple, grapes and maybe a banana— add a tablespoon of lemon so as to keep the fruits from turning brown)
1 box or can of cream
1 can of condensed milk (or add sugar to your desired level of sweetness)
A bottle each of kaong (sugar palm fruit) and nata de coco (coconut gel)
Chopped nuts (optional)

Drain the kaong and the nata de coco in a colander. Add the fruit cocktail in the colander as well. When well drained, transfer to a bowl. Add the cream and about half the can of condensed milk (or sugar). Carefully stir to mix well together. Transfer to a container and top with chopped nuts. Chill in the freezer until firm. Serve and feel your blues fly away.

The 3 Rs (returning, reviewing, renewing)

My husband and I as empty nesters. My two chicadees have flown away and are now busy with their own lives.



Occasionally there are shared meals and even short vacations together but as time goes by, these get-togethers are getting less frequent.



Although there are times when I wonder where they are and what they are up to, I am not sad for long. As a matter of fact, I must confess I consider this phase in my life as an opportunity for growth in.. (now don’t laugh or sneer) my spirituality. With no more kids to s-mother and no longer tied to a desk, there are less distractions (or excuses).

I am re-acquainting myself with my faith. I must admit that this is quite challenging to understand the WORD. It’s like going up the same mountain I constantly see while going through my life-- but this time, I choose to climb, to seek and hopefully reach the “peak”. There are so many A-ha! moments in this new found journey but also confusion and doubt at some crossroads.



But isn’t that what faith is all about….

So there! Although the “territory” is not new, I move through it with eager steps and awe at the revelations along the way. I don’t think I will ever “get it” 100% but you never know…. : )





༰༺༻༰༺༻༰༺༻༰༺༻༰༺༻༰༺༻༰༺༻༰༺༻༰༺༻༰༺༻༰༺༻༰༺༻༰༺༻༰༺༻༰


Faith is like “palitao”—you start off at the bottom knowing nothing but with a burning desire to understand and live out your faith’s teaching, you ascend to the top. (Enough said before lightening strikes me.)



Palitao (Filipino delicacy)

2 cups glutinous rice flour (I find that the product made in Vietnam is of good quality)
¾ to 1 cup water
Freshly Grated coconut
Sugar
Toasted sesame seeds

Add some sesame seeds to a hot pan. Stir until lightly brown in color. When cool, add sugar about triple the quantity of sesame seeds. (ex: 1T seeds; 3 T sugar) Set aside. (although some prefer to have their palitao with sugar and minus the sesame seeds)

Place your flour in a bowl and slowly add half of the water. Stir and continue to add more water until you get the consistency of soft clay dough (too soft and you won’t be able to handle it; too hard and you end up with something very chewy and not so delicate). For easy handling in the next step, I find that cooling the mixture off in the freezer for about 20-30 minutes works.

Pour water into a pot (enough to go up half way of the pot). Bring to a steady boil.

Scope up about a tablespoon of the flour mixture and roll into a ball. Then gently flatten the ball into a thin disk or could be oval in shape (like a tongue). Drop it into the boiling water. Continue shaping more dough and dropping into the boiling water. Be careful not to overcrowd your pot.

The palitao is cooked once it floats to the top. Scope with a slotted ladle and lay on a tray of grated coconut. Turn the palitao over to coat the other side with more coconut. Transfer to a plate and sprinkle the sugar-sesame seed mixture.

This rice dessert will surely bring your taste buds to a higher level of deliciousness.

Note:
Some markets sell the rice mixture (known as galapong) and you need only shape it before dropping into boiling water. But I find that the quality is inferior than when you prepare the rice dough from scratch .