Staying Positive

My mom turned 79 early this year. With the celebration came the realization she would need more than her loyal home staff to manage her needs. Being retired and the most eligible among my siblings, I have taken on the task. And I have relocated to Cebu to manage as best as I can my mother’s affairs. 

I blogged about the mixed emotions my siblings, my friends and I go through when dealing with the care of a parent who, once was so independent, is now experiencing memory lapses. (The Quest ; Still Mommy; To Everything Turn Turn Turn).  A year ago, I would call her daily to check how things where. I also flew to Cebu at least four times a year to keep her company. And when she had to visit my siblings in the States, I would be her travel companion.

The Quest

The annual visit of my mother to the States always includes visits to her doctor for the once-a-year routine check-up.   She used to confidently manage these visits on her own with a sibling offering to drive her for the appointments.  But a year ago, she needed to be accompanied to these visits.  We took charge in filling out the usual questionnaire given out and sat with her as she met with her doctors.  (Still Mommy)

Maybe, we reasoned, it was because she was getting on in years.  Slower, more careful with her steps; quieter, more introspective.  On the other hand, she was easily agitated in unfamiliar surroundings; and quick to declare, “I cannot!” 

Still Mommy

“Must not worry.”

I found some comfort from repeating this mantra to myself.   

It all started so unceremoniously. A forgotten name, a story repeated more than twice in a short span of time,  a misplaced list.  So easily and lightheartedly brushed aside and attributed as part of the aging process.

There was a debate on whether a medical explanation should be sought.  But we were all in denial. For really, what was the point.  There still is no cure for memory loss. 

And so it was for my mother.  And for us, her children.   We laughed.  We cried.  We moved on as we left matters up to time.

Then that time came and my mother herself realized she needed to face this memory eating monster head-on.   And we, her children, planned with her, stood by her and held her hand as we moved forward.

Moving forward, my mother has recently completed  the necessary medical rounds— tests and scans.

The jury is still out on her case.  In the meantime, I should take in the positive and must not worry. She is still mommy.

---xoxoxox---

While visiting with my sisters, M and V, I had the opportunity to watch our mother cook up meals for us. again  She started to apologize for her forgetfulness and hesitated. She felt she would mess things up.  But these negative thoughts vanished as everything came together so naturally.  A chopping board, a sharp knife, a good pan and her confidence was back. 

She outdid herself with her Sotanghon Pancit (recipe here) , Chicken Asado (recipe here) and Pork Sinigang (recipe here).   She also did a green peppers and beans with ground beef dish.  This was something new and delicious for me. I quickly took notes so I won't forget.  And thought it worth passing on to you.

Mom’s Sauted Green Peppers and Beans with Ground Beef

1/2 k ground beef
3 strips of bacon, sliced
3 cloves garlic, minced
1 onion, chopped
1 green pepper, cored and sliced into strips
A handful of green beans (about a cup), string removed and chopped diagonally
Splash of worchestershire, perrins, or soy sauce—whatever you have on hand
Salt and pepper

Place the bacon in a pan and render the oil.  Remove the bacon and set aside. In the bacon oil, saute the garlic and onions then add the beef.  When beef is done, return the bacon and throw in the peppers and beans.  Stir quickly and season with seasoning sauce, salt and pepper.  Remember: Do not overcook or your veggies will be mushy.

Goes very well with steamed rice.